Archive for the ‘What The...’ Category

Did You Know…..?
Friday, November 28th, 2008

Did You Know….?

I discovered recently that the origin of some of our common daily words and sayings is actually quite gruesome! So I thought I’d pass on a few of them to you for some not-so-easy reading.

Cold Feet

So-called ‘trench foot’ was rife among World War I troops. This painful and debilitating syndrome was caused by long periods of standing around in very cold and muddy water. It was also a ticket to hospital. So those soldiers who were not keen on facing battle would wait until just before a major offensive, and after enduring a great deal of pain, would report their condition to the medical officers at the last minute and therefore avoid combat.

Grape

Who doesn’t enjoy a glass of wine from the noble grape? In the 12th Century, a grape was actually a hooked weapon that was used to find openings in the joins of armour and gouge away at the flesh. During peace time, the weapon known as the grape was ideal for harvesting ‘wineberries’ and eventually the weapon’s name transferred to the fruit. I’m not sure I wanted to know that!

Best Man

In the days when brides were kidnapped and forced into marriage, the groom needed the best swordsman he could find to protect his back as he made off with his bride. Today’s best man seems to have got off lightly with just a speech! Although some would say that’s a fate worse than death!

Pay Through The Nose

A common punishment for theft or non-payment of fines in 9th Century Northern England was nose-slitting. The ‘nose tax’ saw each nostril slit up the middle to encourage non-payers to save up for next time and serve as a warning to others. It was easy for the returning tax collectors to identify previous non-payers too. That reminds me, I haven’t done my tax return yet - I’m thinking I’d better get onto it!

Bastard

This word comes from ‘bast’ or ‘bat’ which were alternative names for the pack-saddles used in the baggage trains that followed an army on the move. The saddle opened out into a crude bed for nights on the trail. A child conceived on a ‘bast’ or ‘bat’ was unlikely to be from a legitimate union and was called a ‘batard’ in French and a ‘bastard’ in English.

Mayonnaise

Not such a gory or unpleasant word to end with. After a long siege in 1756, French armed forces under Duc de Richelieu ousted the British from Port Mahon on the Spanish island of Minorca. The siege had been protracted and supplies were scarce and the Duc’s chef had difficulty coming up with a victory banquet. He did the best he could and dressed the salad with a new sauce which he named ‘Mahonaise’ after Port Mahon.

I’ve always found the origin of words really interesting and hope you enjoyed these.

Until next time, this is Julie Vale from Own Your Life Club. Julie Vale

These are from a book called ‘Disorder in the America Courts’, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

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ATTORNEY: This ‘myasthenia gravis’, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

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ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.

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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Is this a trick question?

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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh…. I was getting laid!

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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you sh…ing me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

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– And the best for last: —

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

What The…?

Until next time, this is Richard Beazley from Own Your Life Club.

Filed under: Uncategorized, What The... — Tags: — Richard Beazley @ 2:52 pm