Brian Lucas
Brian Lucas has worked for several large organizations including Woolworths, Hungry Jacks, Pennywise and Bilo supermarkets, before starting several successful companies. He recently has been awarded as President of the Entrepreneurs Organization.
He runs two of the fastest growing small businesses in South Australia: Proper Financial Advice (Financial planning) and Proper Advice (Guaranteed Success Business Coaching). He has given hundreds of speeches around the world on Entrepreneurial-ship and increasing profits. A regular guest commentator on Radio, Brian also is a leading charity fundraiser.
He has written four best selling books on Management, Increasing Profits and Financial Planning.
He is a graduate of the Hong Kong University Entrepreneur Studies, has a Masters in Financial Planning, and is a Certified Financial Planner and competent Toastmaster. Brian is currently lecturing at the Australian Institute of Business Administration for their MBA degree.
Working closely with the South Australian Government 'Thinkers in Residence' program, Brian has advised the Premier's Department on small business.
How To Overcome Negative Comments From Others
Nothing has any meaning in life, only the meaning you give to it. You've heard that before, haven't you? How far have you come to believe in it?
It's not what people say to you that is a problem. People talk! Yes, they do, and there is nothing you can do to stop them. However, it's what you say to yourself after people say something unpleasant that leads to a problem. Are you left behind with a feeling of dejection?
Let's tackle that feeling, and banish it from our lives!
How To Respond To Confidence Destroyers
Like we discussed a few seconds ago, people talk and it's hardly possible to stop them. In such a case, how do you respond to negative comments coming from others with or without an intention to make you feel miserable about yourself?
For instance, when Candace wore a new bold pink dress to the office, her colleague Syrah said, “Yikes! That's way too bright Candace.” With her nose up in the air, Syrah ranted on, “I would never wear something like that.”
What do you think Candace would have said? “Eh... Yea... I did think it was too bright. Maybe I shouldn't have worn it. Why did I even buy it?” But Candace did not sulk or curse herself. In fact, this is what she said, and please note, with a twinkle in her eyes : “I know Syrah, this color is really bold. But you know what; it makes me feel bright and happy. Maybe I could spread some of my vivacity to others around me.”
You bet Syrah was quite taken aback. And you know what, a couple of weeks later, she might have bought herself a dress the same color!
Candace didn't stop wearing bright-colored clothes. She could carry them off and was comfortable in depicting a vibrant personality. She believed in what she did.
Doesn't this incident agree with the fact – No one can make you feel inferior without your consent? It's not what people say to you that affects your confidence. It's what you say to yourself after they've stopped talking that either makes or breaks your self esteem.
Every feeling tells you something, but you should learn to take them with a pinch of salt. Remember it has been made up by what you have been thinking and saying to yourself. It will take time to learn them all, but build up gradually and you will start to build up your confidence.
Here are a few feelings and thoughts that you are sure to face sometime or other. Check what kind of action you can practice in such a case.
FEELING: “I'm afraid of that person – I‟m never confident around him/her”
ACTION: Just remember, they eat, sleep, go to the toilet just like you do and mostly they have the same problems as you - they just don't show it! Think – How would someone you admire, your Confidence Role Model, deal with this person? What would they do? Remember that confidence is about acting – they are just better actors than you right now. Think of the things you can do that they can't do – how would they feel if the roles were reversed?
FEELING: “I can't do this”
ACTION: Oh yes you can! Break the problem down into small chunks and attack each chunk separately. Nothing is ever as daunting as it first seems. How would your Confidence Role Model do this? Think of a time where you have done something really difficult – think this through in your mind and play it over and over like a video recording before you do the task in hand.
FEELING: “I'm afraid of the feedback and reaction I'm going to get when I complete this piece of work”
ACTION: Hey, as long as you've done everything to the best of your ability, you don't have to worry. And if you do make a mistake or two, what the heck?! Just learn from them for next time. A person who never makes mistakes is not doing anything. Those people who moan and groan about things always seem to do nothing. There are no failures in life as long as you learn from the outcome. You're a winner!
What should you do to make sure that the people you hang out with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all the time?
1. You have the power to choose who you hang out with. Ideally, you want happy, vibrant and positive people. People who are more like Candace and less like Syrah.
2. If you have good friends who are negative and yet you want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel - if they are true friends, they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time, just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.
3. The same can be applied to family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years. Appreciate where they have come from and as stated before, select and elicit the information that filters through to your brain.
4. And remember to keep this statement in your minds always – Nothing has meaning in life except the meaning you give it.
'Unstoppable Confidence', written by Brian Lucas, is a 6-part course that will help you improve your confidence levels and self-esteem.
CLICK HERE NOW to access 'Unstoppable Confidence' by Brian Lucas which is available to download FREE for members of Own Your Life Club.